two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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