I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize