We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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