Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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