Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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