Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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