respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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