Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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