he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm getting married
To pizza
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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