So drunk its hurt
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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