We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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