it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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