As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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