i just had sex bonerless
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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