We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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