why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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