I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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