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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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