he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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