yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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