it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize