I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
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I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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