I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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