just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize