This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How's work?
Spinning.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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