PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize