You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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