Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize