i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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