the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize