You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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