The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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