how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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