At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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