I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
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I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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