I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize