I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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