no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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