I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize