you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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