My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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