hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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