I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize