We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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