White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize