I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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