THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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