Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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