Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize