So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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